Many of you who follow this blog will be aware by now that I try my best to parent the girls in a gentle and conscious way. I embrace parenting practices which aim to empower children, show them respect, help their confidence to grow, give them boundaries with the flexibility to push against them and not stifle their growth. I want them to know that as their parents my husband and I will do everything we can to understand where they are coming from and where possible do everything in our power to make sure they feel heard. It’s not always easy, as any parent knows. Throw a few of life’s spanners in the works and it can feel like your “ideal” is being trashed by a disrespectful universe. But isn’t it actually when life does get tough that we need to trust those core parenting beliefs and values more than ever and put them into practice? I believe so and it’s when things go off track and we have to deal with things like death, loss, illness etc that we then need to trust our parenting instincts more than ever to find a way through the darkness following the light we lit beforehand. If we’ve built the foundations correctly, this should stand us in good stead for the rocky path ahead.
As a
family unit we have been through some tough times over the past few years. My
PND illness with Sophia, which lasted 4 years, family fallouts and then my
mother’s diagnosis with lung cancer when my youngest was just 8 weeks old,
followed by her passing 6 months later. These unexpected developments completely
shattered our world, but one thing that’s helped us through these times is
trusting our instincts as parents, knowing that we are still striving to come
from the right space with the girls and that despite where we find ourselves,
we are still doing our best to respect them, show them unconditional love, and are
trying to balance out everyone’s needs amongst the chaos.
I
connected with Kate Jangra in December of last year (2012) after seeing a blog post
from “The Mule” which included a brief overview of “Babyhood – the film” and
from the trailer I saw, I knew I wanted to see the full film. Its core
message was about following our instincts, and going back to basics with our parenting.
It felt good to watch and really resonated with me. I ordered myself a copy and
have watched it several times over the past few months, each time getting
further insight from the wealth of experts Kate spoke to whilst putting the
film together; Sue Gerhardt – Psychotherapist & Author of Why Love Matters,
Camila Batmanghelidjh – Director of Kids Company, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk –
Developmental Psychologist, Detective
Chief Superintendant John Carnochan – Scottish Violence Reduction Unit, Helena
Kennedy QC, Sue Palmer – Literary Specialist and Author of Toxic Childhood, Carrie
Longton - Co-founder of Mumsnet, Professor Lesley Page – Visiting Professor of Midwifery,
Kings College London and Naomi Morton – Midwife, Hypnotherapist, &
Hypnobirthing Practitioner.
The
film is beautifully interspersed with wonderful, inspiring poetry by Holly McNish which both my husband and I found thought provoking and gave the film a
raw, creative edge.
The key
message from this film is about the importance of play and attachment with our
children particularly in the first 1,000 days of their life – that’s just short
of 3 years. The film focuses on the benefits of child-centred parenting and
after reading quite a few articles recently about “cry it out” techniques and
the like, this film is welcome relief to those of us striving to parent in a
more peaceful, responsive way. It made me question our high-tech lives where we
give everything to our children thinking that more is better. But what children
really want is our time, love and presence in their lives. We are expending
less and less of that on our kids at a time when the influence of the media,
technology and money is taking over their lives. Our children are directed and
controlled rather than feeling the freedom to just “be”, immersed in their own
imaginations and creativity. The need to get back to basics is never more
needed and felt than now. The one lasting message as a parent I came away with
every time I watched this film was from Sue Palmer who said “We give them the roots
to grow and the wings to fly and off they go”. What a beautiful message that is.
This
film comes highly recommended and it would make a wonderful addition to any new
mother or father’s toolbox to empower them along their parenting journey.
Babyhood
is being screened in association with Juno magazine and Born on Wednesday 20
March 2013 in Bristol. Tickets are £4 each and can be booked via this link: www.borndirect.com/P3941/Born/Film-Night.
If you
would like your own copy of Babyhood, then Kate is selling them at £10 each and
you can buy one by emailing her direct at: katejangra@gmail.com.
You can
also connect with Kate and find out more about Babyhood – the film from the
website: www.babyhood-film.com via
their Facebook page: www.facebook.com/babyhoodfilm.
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I hope
you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read. Do let me know your thoughts below in the
comments section. It’s always nice to hear from you x.
And as always you can also find me on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/SophiasChoiceUK
and Twitter: @SophiasChoiceUK. Until next time xx
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